“He’s not my boyfriend!”

She had been perfectly honest when she said those words to Sokka on that fateful day. Back then, Aang was a total stranger, a carefree, fun-loving twelve-year-old with whom she had immediately bonded.

A twelve-year-old who turned out to be the Avatar.

But he was still a child. And just a friend. She did not entertain thoughts of when he was older, did not even think that maybe, just maybe, the destiny that brought them together had more in mind for them. He was a kid, two years younger than her, and a good friend. Nothing more.

But then Aunt Wu predicted you would marry a powerful bender, and you realized: Who was more powerful than the Avatar?

She tried to dismiss it. So he was a powerful bender; so what? There were plenty of powerful benders in the world. And besides, she was fourteen! She had a whole lifetime ahead of her, to meet someone, to fall in love…

And anyway, she was happy with where she was in her relationship with Aang. He was a great friend, someone who gave her a reason to laugh for the sake of laughing, to believe, to hope. His bright smile seemed to light up everything, make it all better (if only for a moment.)

…And she almost kissed him in a cave. But that didn’t mean anything, right? It was a desperate situation. So what if she was nervous about it? She was going to kiss her best friend and make things awkward between them. So what if it hurt when he said he didn’t want to kiss her? So what if her heart had slipped into her throat when they leaned in and the light went out and she felt his breath on her lips, teasing, tempting… She was desperate, and he was just her friend…right?

And then the unthinkable, the unimaginable, occurred at Ba Sing Se:  you saw the Avatar fall, and you yourself almost died, but that didn’t matter, not while you held his lifeless body in your arms, when you had (almost) lost him…

She had realized, somewhere deep inside her (shattering) heart, as she watched him fall. She had known, if only very briefly, that Aang was so much more to her than a friend, a brother…so much more…

Aang couldn’t die. Aang just couldn’t die. That was the one thing that could never, ever, under no condition, happen. But he did. For just a little while, Aang had been dead. (Only this time, she’d had just the thing to bring him back; this time, she would not lose someone she loved…)

For a time, as she sat at his bedside and clutched his hand in hers, she tried to convince herself: She did not feel that way about Aang. She had just seen her best friend die; why shouldn’t she be upset? She still didn’t know if she had done enough to save him, if he was coming back to her…

But as time passed, the argument crumbled, and she became very aware that her feelings toward the airbender were much, much stronger than she had previously believed…

Because she realized that the space Aang left when he was gone made the world empty and bleak; and that when he danced with her, she felt like herself for once, reveled in the feelings he was provoking in her, and forgot about war, about grief, about betrayal, about heartbreak…

And it was frightening. It frightened her to be this close, so very close to her best friend, to someone who had to save the world, to the Avatar...to Aang.

It frightened her, because he had (accidentally) broken her heart before, and yet she could not stop loving him, and she was so scared that a repeat was on the horizon… Not because he would die (not again, never, ever again,) but because he could not possibly feel that way about her...

And then, swiftly, desperate, he captured your lips with his, and once again you let go, and kissed him back…

And it did not solve anything.

Because now she was in love with her best friend…who loved her back. And while on the surface it seemed like there was no problem, underneath there was so, so much.

Because her best friend was the Avatar, and had a duty to the world, and would eventually have to face the most dangerous man on the planet…and may not come back. The thought of such a possibility destroyed her, but it was a possibility none-the-less…and could she handle it? (No, no she couldn’t; not again. It would destroy her, because there was no magic water to save him, not this time; this time, it would be forever…) And she could die as well, and- could she put him through that? Put him through such heartbreak?

So she said she was confused. And Aang, desperate once more, placed his lips on hers; but this time she did not let go, did not revel, did not give in to her pounding heart and aching soul, and tore away, and ran.

It would be better, she decided; the pain would be more bearable if they had not started something they could not finish.

But then the lightning came, straight for you, leaping and crackling and demanding your life, and in the blue, that dazzling blue, you found refuge in gray…

In those brief, terrifying moments, when the world stopped and Zuko was not between her and death, she wondered (not for the first time that day) how she could have let Aang leave, let him think that she did not love him? How could she have thought that this would be better? How could she have not told him...?

But then Zuko took the hit, and (for a moment) she could not remember if it was Zuko or Aang that was writhing in midair, lightning dancing through his body, dying.

But she saved Zuko’s life (because they were friends now, and neither of them wanted the other to die,) and they thanked each other: because between the two of them, they had been given second chances to set things right between their beloveds...

And when she saw Aang (gloriously, wonderfully alive,) all the lies she’d told herself, all the barriers that lingered, all of them slipped away, and she loved him so much she wasn’t certain she could hold it in.

So you kissed him, and this time there was no desperation, no impending death or destruction on the horizon: just the two of you, and love, and a joy so complete, you never, ever wanted it to end.

And the truth was so much better than any lie you’d told yourself before.